16 Hilariously Inappropriate Things People Said After Sex
Some people responded with real things they’ve heard and said in the past, while others speculated about the worst hypotheticals they could think of. Here are the best replies, starting with real anecdotes:
1.“My ex and I took each other’s virginities, and afterwards, he said, ‘Well, we tried!'”
2.“One guy told me, ‘I felt like I was connected to an angel. Do you want to get married?'”
3.“He announced he had to leave to ‘defrost some hot dogs for a party tomorrow’ — a party that I wasn’t even invited to! 🤦🏻♀️”
4.“The worst I ever heard was when someone asked me, ‘How long you planning to stay? I don’t want you here all night.'”
5.“A girl asked me if I was a virgin. When I said no, she replied with ‘well it felt like it.'”
6.“My partner grew up in a very sex-sheltered home, so we waited two years to lose our virginities to each other. I thought our first time was great, but then, he muttered, ‘Well that wasn’t worth it.'”
7.“I once had a guy put his hand up for a high five and go, ‘We did it!'”
8.“I found out my situationship was hooking up with me while in a committed relationship when he said, ‘My one-year anniversary with Angie is tomorrow!'”
9.“A guy actually said, ‘Well, I guess we don’t have any chemistry!’ Like, dude, I agree, but you could have waited a little longer before saying it!”
10.“I have really bad ADHD. When my husband and I first had sex, it was great. But once we finished, I said, ‘Can I tell you about this documentary I’m watching? It’s about serial killers.'”
11.“*slaps knees* Welp!”
While the real-life scenarios were certainly cringy, some redditors came up with other hypothetical responses that I’m certain somebody somewhere has said before:
12.“*Jim Carrey voice* ‘I’ve had better!'”
13.“Let’s go over your performance review.”
14.“We’ve been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.”
15.“I just called you an Uber. It’ll be here in five minutes.”
16.And finally, the worst line of them all: “Wait until Reddit hears about this!”
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard someone say after sex? 🍆💦
