If you took one look at 19-year-old Kenzie‘s Instagram, you’d see a smiling girl who loves spending time with her friends, playing with her sense of style and cuddling with her boyfriend.
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But, as we all know, social media isn’t always what it seems. “I feel like everyone thinks that all of these people on social media are perfect and don’t go through struggles. We all do,” the singer and dancer tells Billboard.
That’s why Kenzie decided on Friday (July 21) to release “Anatomy,” a heart wrenching ballad about her strained relationship with her father. “It’s just anatomy, you’re only half of me / But still you don’t know me at all / You’ve been my missing piece, so why aren’t you missing me?” she sings in the chorus, her voice nearly trembling in the way it usually does when being so deeply vulnerable for the first time.
The song, which acts as a musical therapy session, started out fittingly as a suggestion from her therapist. “When I turned 18, I started therapy and it was a big moment for me, because I just never trusted anyone to listen to my emotions,” she explains. “It just felt like a weird concept to me, you know, talking to a stranger. As I started doing therapy, she kept telling me write a letter to my dad and I felt that was so weird. So, I ended up just writing a song about it. I sent it to her and I was like, ‘Here’s my letter to my dad. Here’s everything.’”
She continues, “I ended up really loving the song and I hit the realization that there are people who will relate to this and I feel like it could help a lot of people in some way. It also gives people a chance to get to know me better.”
The track arrived along with an equally goosebump-inducing music video, in which the Dance Moms alum dances in an empty studio with the younger version of herself. “I’m healing my inner child for sure,” she says of the clip. “It was really important to me to add a younger version of myself in the video because when I was younger, I didn’t think about all of these issues. I think the second I turned 18, it all literally just came crashing down. I always used to make jokes about it. I’d just be like, “Yeah, well, that’s my life.” You know how kids are. But it’s a real life struggle that people go through and it really didn’t hit me until I was 18. Every time I watch the video, it just makes me cry because she’s so amazing in it.”
Before releasing the track, she showed it to her mother and sister — fellow dancer Maddie Ziegler — and, while she was “nervous,” the result was everything she hoped for. “I sent it to my sister and she just FaceTimed me and didn’t say anything and had tears coming down her face,” Kenzie recalls. “I also played it for my mom which I was a little nervous for because it’s a touchy subject. She’s just so supportive and she obviously cried as well. She just looked at me and was like, ‘that’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.’”
In fact, Maddie ended up choreographing the music video. “I mean, she loves it so much because, of course, it’s her childhood too,” Kenzie explains. “It was so special having her there with me because it is a big moment in my life to be talking about this. Just having her be a part of it made me feel at home and comforted.”
As for how she perceives her relationship with her father now, Kenzie says “Anatomy” (and therapy) has helped her immensely in coming to terms with it. “I was really hesitant to release the song, because I have so much love for my dad no matter what because he is my family. I love very deeply and I don’t hold grudges,” she says. “But it definitely was healing because I just feel so content and I feel so happy with myself. I honestly don’t have these struggles anymore and I think it’s because I was so vulnerable and got to let everything out.”
Moving forward, Kenzie wants to continue being vulnerable in her music — not only to help herself heal, but also to help others. “I just feel like it’s just so personal and I really look up to people that are honest and share their story to other people. It helps other people in many ways,” she shares. “Bottling it up and acting like it doesn’t exist is not always the healthiest way. I think it’s important to talk freely about what you’re going through, and not be afraid to share your feelings. It’s also not embarrassing! That’s how I felt for a long time with my friends that had a mom and dad, and I just felt really embarrassed and left out. I learned that it made me a strong person and it’s made me who I am.”
Watch Kenzie’s “Anatomy” music video below.
