13. “When I was a kid, my dad accidentally hit a raccoon with his car. It had a baby raccoon with it that wasn’t hurt, so we adopted it. We adored it, but we were not equipped to care for it. There was no lock or cage that could stop it, and it got into cupboards, ate our food and trash, and we’d find its shit in the most random places. Well, one day, my dad sat me down and told me that my raccoon had ‘gone to live on a farm.’ I was old enough to know what that meant, and I was heartbroken.
“But then, a few years ago, I was telling the story to my husband, and my dad interrupted me and said that, no, he actually, literally gave my raccoon away to a work acquaintance of his who had a farm! The raccoon had gotten so accustomed to humans that it constantly broke into the man’s house, ate his food, and got enormously fat!”
